Living Legacy
For Merrill Hite and Rafaelle Aurea, it took traveling the world and surviving two spouses each before they met each other in Sun Lakes, Arizona in 1998.
A year later, the dynamic woman and soft-spoken man eloped to Las Vegas. It was an appropriate beginning to what has become an adventure-filled marriage--or two--because after Merrill converted from Protestantism to Catholicism, they got married again in a local Catholic church.
Merrill is quiet, but Rafaelle is quick to speak about his accomplishments with an endearing pride. He sits back and smiles, letting her take the lead with conversation. As she tells their stories, you can see the feistiness in her dark brown eyes--the eyes that attracted Merrill to her.
Rafaelle grew up in a traditional Italian-American household in Connecticut, the youngest of five sisters and two brothers. She was the one with her nana's namesake; the one who drove her mother crazy with always wanting pretty things. To know her now, it's easy to imagine this.
She is always smartly clad in skirts or dresses with an accompanying hat and an impressive collection of jewelry (her first career was as an owner of a fashion boutique). Her home is filled with antique treasures--some as generous gifts, others acquired from a lifetime of travel.
Rafaelle's appreciation for fine things includes carrying on a matrilineal tradition of fine food. It was her great cooking that she shared with Merrill during their courtship in exchange for the gifts and kind things he did for her. Of course, he had to pick the food up in a basket she left outside her door because her social morays precluded entertaining a man in her home.
Merrill respectfully adhered to Rafaelle's rules, despite a less strict upbringing in a Washington household with his parents and older sister.
In his youth, Merrill was allowed to go on daring adventures and he liked hiking and boating. He has the unique ability of being both artistically and mechanically inclined. He graduated with a degree in mechanical engineering and conducted a distinguished 43-year career designing cables and cranes all over the world. Because of his expertise, the Chinese government has invited Merrill to be a guest on five different occasions.
It's true that they are very different: Rafaelle commands attention with her impeccable attire and outgoing personality. In contrast, with his quiet composure and gentle charm, Merrill rarely interrupts.
Yet, despite opposite personalities, they share intriguing similarities. They've both met presidents. They're both intelligent and accomplished. They've both been married twice before and have two daughters each. They both acknowledge their mothers as being their greatest influence. They're both staying healthy. They both love to travel--taking months-long cruises around the globe nearly every year. And they both subscribe to the adage of treating others like you want to be treated which, for them, includes being kind and generous.
Rafaelle is a lifetime member of the Chandler Regional Hospital Auxiliary. Her extensive volunteering started relatively early in life when one of her daughters had Multiple Sclerosis. The unfortunate disease eventually took her daughter's life, but Rafaelle has continued to raise money and support research. She gives extravagantly to numerous causes including the CHW Foundation – East Valley, cancer research, the Salvation Army, and Mary Help of Christians.
Merrill admits that she's inspired him to give more, and she jokes (or not) that if her money runs out, they'll start on his.
When asked what inspires their generosity, Rafaelle answers succinctly and without hesitation, as if other reasons have never occurred to her: "You feel good when you donate. When you give, I think it's the most wonderful feeling."
